Stress and mindset: Let’s be friends!

Befriending Stress

I hope after the holiday season this statement doesn’t hit a sore spot, but I believe we can make stress our friend! It’s true that loading on stressful situations or life events like gravy can be bad for our health and cause physical and mental repercussions. It’s also true that we experience stress for a reason, and the way we interpret or interact with it can have a positive effect.

Did you know that the term ‘Eustress’ (developed in 1976 meaning ‘good’ ‘stress’) describes a response that comes from moderate levels of stress due to challenging tasks/events? Versus ‘Distress’ experienced in response to a threat or feeling out of control of a situation? This means that the way we experience stress can be understood as being good for us, providing an opportunity to rise to an occasion. Stress experienced as positive gives us greater focus, builds confidence, provides fulfillment, and even supports connection. Positive stress feels like courage and joy.

Along with the hormones we regularly hear of in relation to stress and our health, like cortisol (shutting off digestion and increasing glucose to the brain) and adrenalin (increasing blood pressure and heart rate) we also produce oxytocin (the cuddle hormone). Oxytocin promotes social interaction and connection, and has pain relieving and healing properties.  It’s also one of the few hormones whose release leads to actions that stimulate our body to release more of it. This means that if you seek or experience social support in times of stress the oxytocin in your body increases, building stress resilience and promoting healthy physiological response.

This befriending of stress is not meant to diminish crisis, or suggest toxically smiling our way through something we have no control over, like the death of a loved one or climate change. It’s just that sometimes everyday stressors pile up and feel overwhelming, straining our stress resilience. If we can adjust our thinking about a public speaking assignment or social outing commitment – something we have control over – then we can adjust the body’s response. We can look at the challenge and embrace the stress. The quickened heart rate is a natural and welcome response that will help us rise to the occasion. We can seek support from someone in the room and build resilience together.

I love what Kelly McGonigal (psychologist and author of The Upside of Stress) says, ‘chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort’. We can do difficult things and be healthier for it.

https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?subtitle=en

by Gabrielle Durupt